The Swirl

I hate to hear people talk about how many medications they are on. It just sounds sad, and it hurts more to hear this type of talk when it comes from my own mouth. A couple (few?) months ago, I stopped taking Aderall. I'm not going into the boring and worn-out reasons, just telling you so you know. Now, I can feel what I call "the swirl" returning to my brain. The swirl comes in slowly, and picks up speed over time. It starts with a main thought, then spirals into several smaller thoughts on the same subject. I become very creative, and imagine many new ideas for paintings, books, career paths, etc. The problem is, the swirl giveth and taketh away. I watch those great ideas fly about, then not so much fade away, as just be overlapped by another. Eventually, my head is full of many layers of overlapping ideas, and nothing has been done with any of them. I don't know which is worse, to take the drug and wake up on Saturday thinking about something I was supposed to do at work on Friday, or to not take the drug, and sit at work on Tuesday thinking about what I'm going to do on Sunday? Either way, at this point, I have decided to drop more into this little blog space in the meanwhile. You know (if you have read any of this crap here) that this has been a place for me to put little things I see or imagine up, and find out what you think about them. I would not call it a traditional blog site, where I tell you how I feel that day, and for some reason you come back each day to read about it. I have never understood that type relationship. But, I will post more often, with less emphasis on funny pictures/stories in the future. I'm not trying to "bring down the room" and turn this thing serious, just trying not to ignore it so much for fear that I will not entertain. This will be fun- watch and try to determine when and where I break down and "go back on the drug" as far as how the style changes. Until then, I just realized that I AM at work, and should probably do something.

I Never Thought it Could Happen To Me

Well, up until a few years ago (like three) there were no solid jobs for middle aged commercial actors. By commercial, I mean the annoying clip between the segments of your favorite show that are used to sell or make you aware of new crap to buy. But then, something magic happened. Cholesterol lowering drugs. Then, libido increasing drugs. Then, a bunch of other shit designed to help old dudes get divorced and start looking for love at Hooters. We ALL know the trademark names of these concoctions, but I'm afraid to say them here for fear of being sued. I still said "Hooters" though. Being sued by Hooters would be pretty funny. Anyway, these commercials are all the same. First scene- Old guy with grey hair/beard sits with his hands on his face and talks about how shocked he was to hear that he was old, and his heart/joints/knees/balls were no longer up to par. He is ALWAYS filmed in black and white. Then, the color film kicks in, and he is suddenly on a mountain bike. He is in the middle of God damned nowhere, on a bike. Or, a canoe, or, if it is a sex drive pill, a motorcycle. He has some woman that is his age or close, that he is shown to be planning on wearing out whenever they get where they are going on those bikes. Later, he will be shown by him self again, on the bike or motorcycle. This is to show that he can prowl from woman to woman. There are so many of these type pharmaceutical commercials out now, that old dudes everywhere are lining up to get to "star" in one. In a few years, I will get myself a mountain bike and try out for "my junk works like new" guy in an old dude drug commercial. P.S. That is not me in the picture above.

This Does Not Suck

I was out at one of my usual lunch rotation restaurants the other day, and headed off to the restroom to wash my hands. As I rounded the corner, I discovered a gaggle of vacuum cleaners. This is something I am seeing more and more of, even in my own home. I own, and only confess to owning, an old Kirby vacuum. Its all steel and chrome, ways about 78 pounds, and sucks dirt off the floor like a tornado. My wife, on the other hand, owns more than a couple "other" vacuums. This is due to the fact that, these days, you can't seem to buy one just to clean the damn floor.

It has to clean the corners, or the tile, or the air. It has to clean the couch, and the stairs, and the dog. It has to clean the environment, and cobwebs off of the ceiling. All of these extra duties have taken away from the original function, and I say enough is enough. Take your fancy "ball" vacuum, and your HEPA filtered life saver vacuum, and all the paper-towel-on-a-stick, wet squirt varieties of floor cleaner, and pitch them out. We have been led astray from the original duty of the simple suck and go vacuum cleaner. Attachments are the Devil.

Im back, sorta.

Thought I would come back to the duck with some stupid product shots I have taken over the past few months. I have been down a bit, and not had an Internet connection due to being broke ass. If it pleases you to know, I am working tonight on a stolen connection. I will try to post regularly for a while, if I can. Thanks for coming back by- Chris

That's one NASTY juice box.

Yeah! String! (You CAN become a string expert!)

Please, sink to the bottom!

"This solar flashlight has not worked since the minute we walked in this cave!"

Date ball tells you who to date and when, even if you are six years old.

A lot of people "hooked up" with seventies songs. Some broke up.

The Irish Pubis is "open". Ewwwww

Is that a pagoda in your lap, or are you just happy to see me?

New flavor sensation from Sobe-

Good thing I sold the "bicycle built for two"

Dude, your dog is totally gay.

I can see this, being held on top of a tiny car, by tiny hands.

No comment.



"This remote control is broken, the train only seems to go to the left?"


"Careful Tommy, don't get your baseball pants dirty before the game!" (I don't know why that is funny to me........baseball pants.)

Unless you can afford the good shit.