Alright, I got to throw this one out and see if anyone can feel me. The other day, I was sitting in the living room, on the computer (shocking) and my wife had a cooking show on. It's always amusing to me how much she loves cooking shows, because she absolutely does not cook. She would boil a Pop tart, and thus, is not even allowed in the kitchen. So, I'm working and listening to the show. I hear this incredibly annoying voice that just drones on and on, and will not stop. It sounds like an eight year old girl, with a cough drop in her mouth. Not just in her mouth, but teetering at the back of her throat, as though she wants to hold it there, but not quite swallow it. I finally look up to see what this pixie looks like, and it is (big surprise) a two-fifty plus, thirty something girl of Asian ancestry, wearing pig tails. I listened some more, now sickened by the reality of the situation, and realized that this voice I was hearing was one that I hear quite often. 
I don't know what it is called, if it has a name. It should be identified, like a virus, and destroyed. I don't know what makes a woman in her twenties, thirties, and even beyond, want to TRY to sound like a little girl. I know they know they are "doing it". They are told by people on the phone to "put their Mommy on please" and are delighted to hear it. I think that it can maybe be sexy, in the bedroom and such, but not in the boardroom. And I hate to even get started on the whole "up speak" phenomenon. If you don't know, that's the label fixed to the strange way of speaking that the kids are using today, in which every statement sounds like a question? Stacy and I went to the mall today, and like, saw these two boys? And they were like, trying to talk to us and stuff? And we were like, shut up? I trip out when I am listening to the news on the radio, and they cut away to some expert on a subject, or a field journalist in Baghdad. I'm expecting to hear some serious shit, then she opens her mouth and out pops Cindy Brady. Or Betty Boop. I have seen actresses who speak this way ( Joey Lauren Adams, the Lawyer girlfriend in Big Daddy/w.Adam Sandler) and it drives me nuts. And not in the good way. If men did it, we would be laughed at, and it surely would NOT get us a job at Hooters. Now go spit out that damn cough drop, and start using your big girl voice.
I don't know what it is called, if it has a name. It should be identified, like a virus, and destroyed. I don't know what makes a woman in her twenties, thirties, and even beyond, want to TRY to sound like a little girl. I know they know they are "doing it". They are told by people on the phone to "put their Mommy on please" and are delighted to hear it. I think that it can maybe be sexy, in the bedroom and such, but not in the boardroom. And I hate to even get started on the whole "up speak" phenomenon. If you don't know, that's the label fixed to the strange way of speaking that the kids are using today, in which every statement sounds like a question? Stacy and I went to the mall today, and like, saw these two boys? And they were like, trying to talk to us and stuff? And we were like, shut up? I trip out when I am listening to the news on the radio, and they cut away to some expert on a subject, or a field journalist in Baghdad. I'm expecting to hear some serious shit, then she opens her mouth and out pops Cindy Brady. Or Betty Boop. I have seen actresses who speak this way ( Joey Lauren Adams, the Lawyer girlfriend in Big Daddy/w.Adam Sandler) and it drives me nuts. And not in the good way. If men did it, we would be laughed at, and it surely would NOT get us a job at Hooters. Now go spit out that damn cough drop, and start using your big girl voice.
No comments:
Post a Comment