This Does Not Suck

I was out at one of my usual lunch rotation restaurants the other day, and headed off to the restroom to wash my hands. As I rounded the corner, I discovered a gaggle of vacuum cleaners. This is something I am seeing more and more of, even in my own home. I own, and only confess to owning, an old Kirby vacuum. Its all steel and chrome, ways about 78 pounds, and sucks dirt off the floor like a tornado. My wife, on the other hand, owns more than a couple "other" vacuums. This is due to the fact that, these days, you can't seem to buy one just to clean the damn floor.

It has to clean the corners, or the tile, or the air. It has to clean the couch, and the stairs, and the dog. It has to clean the environment, and cobwebs off of the ceiling. All of these extra duties have taken away from the original function, and I say enough is enough. Take your fancy "ball" vacuum, and your HEPA filtered life saver vacuum, and all the paper-towel-on-a-stick, wet squirt varieties of floor cleaner, and pitch them out. We have been led astray from the original duty of the simple suck and go vacuum cleaner. Attachments are the Devil.