First off, I have to give special thanks to my technical advisor, Bob Milam, for helping me center and stabilize my abstract thought process on this one. Here's the thick of the plot. One day last week, I was walking out the door to go and get some things we needed for dinner. My wife asked me to get a few bucks back for my daughter to take to school, to pay for lunch. When I got to the register, the smiling snapper head told me he was low on ones, and asked if I could take a couple Susan B. Anthony's, and a couple "Sacajawea" dollar coins. I was immediately intrigued with the idea of my daughter being forced to explain the "legend" of Sacajawea to the disgruntled lunch lady. You see, I am always trying to get her to be more assertive, and push her point across. Now, she likes to eat as much (or more) than i do, so I knew it would be a challenge that she would be FORCED to take to the next level, as they say. I based this idea on the fact that many (most?) folks have no idea what the hell a Sacajawea is, not to mention a Sacajawea dollar. When we got home, I immediately asked my wife if she knew, and as expected, she did not. I asked many other people, including Bob, and they did not. So, the stage was set. Now, Sacajawea was also known as Pocahontas. She was the servant, guide, and sex slave of the famed Lewis and Clark expedition. Of course, Disney didn't tell it like that. She was sold to the pair like a piece of meat, and quickly put on the job. I think she even had a kid or two with one or both of them. So, for some reason the mint decided to make an ugly ass, brassy looking dollar coin, possibly to commemorate her being such a swell sport about the whole thing. My buddies all laughed about the idea of my daughter spitting words and quoting facts like a coked up car salesman on the last Sunday of the month, trying to school up the lunch lady, and score her Sloppy Joe. I know, the whole thing was cruel. Funny as hell to me, but cruel. While standing there with my work Bro-hams, we started talking about the fact (?) that, unless the person you are bartering with appreciates the value of your currency, it really has no value. The truth is, there is NO real value of any currency, depending on the situation of the market. You always hear these assholes on the street and on TV talking about gold, and how it never loses its value even if the cash market fails completely. So, I like to pipe up and bait them by asking "say, what is the value of an ounce of gold right now?' They fall right into the trap by saying something like "89 dollars an ounce", and then I got em. I got em right where I want them. 89 what? 89 WHAT??? 89 DOLLARS FOOL! Your gold has NO value when it is based on the dollar, in a time of market collapse. Guess what, even a diamond has to be appraised. In a market crash, no value what so ever. Here's how you find what is true value in a crunch. Can you eat it? Can you cook on it, or warm your kids with it? Food and water, blankets, guns, nails, and batteries. Chickens, rope, plastic, milk. That's your gold. Maybe you could trade a chicken for some gold to fill a tooth. Maybe you could trade diapers for a sack of diamonds to put in the gold tooth. You get the point. Anyway, my Baby talked that lunch lady into getting on board with Sacajawea, and handing over the Joe. I guess that's another valuable commodity in a mess, the power and command of bullshit. If so, I must be rich.
1 comment:
There is a story/urban legend about how a man took a wheel barrow full of currency to a bakery to buy bread in post-WWI Germany only to find when he came back outside the money blowing on the street and his wheel barrow was stolen.
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