I was going to start by asking "am I the only one who hates the God damn Charmin bears?" but after going on a picture search, I know I'm not alone. I hate those bears, and Charmin so much. I would wipe my ass with a cactus before I would purposely use that product. I don't know what it is about it that makes it so vile.
Maybe its the way their faces pinch up and blush, then they reach for the paper. Maybe its the way they shake their asses after, to show you how clean it is. I remember when Charmin had Mr. Whipple, who would just act like a bitch about weirdos squeezing the toilet paper. Well, I didn't really like him either, but at least the company had some dignity about the product. Now, they want to come on TV while your trying to eat dinner, and make you think about shit. My family started turning off the TV at dinner time, and turning on music instead, while sitting at the table. I wish the rest of America would turn the TV off every time that damn commercial comes on. That would make the good folks at Charmin bring Whipple out of retirement, and park the shitting bear campaign. But, its hard to get everyone together on a cause like this. I mean, I always thought people would bitch about "Angel Soft" toilet paper, but they never did. They let a company get away with saying that using this paper would feel like wiping your asshole with an angel. You know, Gods most perfect and closest creations. Angels. On your ass. Now that's soft! Like an angel, fluttering past your taint. I hate TV.
Maybe its the way their faces pinch up and blush, then they reach for the paper. Maybe its the way they shake their asses after, to show you how clean it is. I remember when Charmin had Mr. Whipple, who would just act like a bitch about weirdos squeezing the toilet paper. Well, I didn't really like him either, but at least the company had some dignity about the product. Now, they want to come on TV while your trying to eat dinner, and make you think about shit. My family started turning off the TV at dinner time, and turning on music instead, while sitting at the table. I wish the rest of America would turn the TV off every time that damn commercial comes on. That would make the good folks at Charmin bring Whipple out of retirement, and park the shitting bear campaign. But, its hard to get everyone together on a cause like this. I mean, I always thought people would bitch about "Angel Soft" toilet paper, but they never did. They let a company get away with saying that using this paper would feel like wiping your asshole with an angel. You know, Gods most perfect and closest creations. Angels. On your ass. Now that's soft! Like an angel, fluttering past your taint. I hate TV.
5 comments:
Wiping your ass with a baby is on the same ailse at the grocery store. How about the ad for the "female hygene' product that has a a skunk and a porccupine on it. Smelly and itchy....mmmm fuckin' mmm! Who want's more stroganoff!?!?
Dr. Van Nostrom
Hope you don't mind reruns of Mr. Whipple. He just passed away. He was 91 years old.
I'm glad to see your eating your loyds with the TV off. I too eat dinner with the TV off and opt for internet radio to match the dinner...ese taco me da hambre
You guys get it.
I thought bears wiped their asses with rabbits when they shit in the woods?!?!? Charmin, eh? Go figure.
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