As a few of you know, I have lived for many years with the pain of a gravy addiction. It started small, a tablespoon here, a ladle there, and then I started hitting the hard shit. I own a gravy "boat", ladles, hand cranked flour sifters, I'm grindin' Jack. I got a can of Wondra in my cabinet right next to a bottle of Gravy Master. If you don't know what that is, you ain't in the game, so don't step to me like you are. This dependency has left me with a less than model shape, and a bad back from carrying it all around. Today, I had to have an epidural in my spine to bring some relief, and help me get better. I wanted the doctor to shove an eggplant up my ass so I could strip my wife (and any other Mom) of her "you have never known the pain of childbirth" bragging rights. He would not. I figured if I was having an epidural anyway, like most woman do to have a baby, I would go for the whole package. Besides, people have been telling me I look pregnant for years. Today could have been my special day, and that Doctor denied me that gift. Anyway, I'm still a little looped from the drugs they knocked me out with, and I don't remember what my point was. So, I'm going to go play a video game, and maybe whip up some brown gravy.
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